Have you ever been paralyzed by fear? Fear of failure, death, and the unknown seem all to common. Janelle was overcome with the fear of death during her second pregnancy. Instead, she was given a miracle. Read how faith saved her below.
“Back in March 2014, Jake and I decided that we were ready to have a baby. We weren’t married or even engaged for that matter. A few months into the pregnancy, the weight of our sin hit me and the spirit of fear engulfed me. I knew that this pregnancy would be different. I fully believed that I was not
going to make it through the delivery and had even started talking to Jake about what to do after I passed. I was a mess emotionally and carried a tremendous amount of guilt that I would be leaving Elli, my oldest daughter, behind. I started to speak death and even asked my sister to fight for custody of Elli if Elli’s dad tried to take her. I believed it and no one could convince me otherwise!
Throughout my pregnancy signs kept popping up that, to me, confirmed my theory. I knew someone that had experienced AFE (Amniotic fluid embolism), I worked with someone that lost their daughter in law during delivery, and also knew someone that lost their baby in the womb at 38 weeks. All of this just weeks before Layla was due. All of these things happening to such amazing people confirmed, in my mind, that I was right. I wasn’t going to make it.
Then, out of the blue, I received a call from my brother in law, Bernard. He and I had been close in years past. He helped me find the Lord and encouraged me when things weren’t going my way. Our relationship at that time though….was non-existent. I remember looking at the phone when I saw his name pop up and not wanting to answer it. I knew after months of not speaking that it couldn’t be good. Bernard was straight forward with me and said enough was enough. He told me I had to stop speaking death into my life and ask God to shut those thoughts down. He didn’t ask me to stop….he demanded that I stop. So I did. I made it my daily prayer that God be with Layla and I during delivery and that we both make it out alive and well.
The morning of December 25, 2014 was the scariest day of my life. I started bleeding heavily at home and we rushed to the hospital. Something was obviously wrong and all the fears of death rushed back to me. Elli was at her dad’s and I was terrified I would never see her again. As we waited in the hospital room, I continued to bleed everywhere. I could see the fear in the nurse’s eyes. I was terrified! The doctor rushed in and said there was no time to wait any longer. My placenta had detached and Layla was literally drowning inside of me. I had to have an emergency c-section.. The fear was paralyzing. Jake and I both cried, kissed one another, said I love you, and then they wheeled me off. I will never forget grabbing for his hand and it not being there. It was the scariest moment of my life and I had to face it alone.
Janelle and Layla
I am forever grateful for the nurse that grabbed my hand and asked me if she could pray for me. Her prayers brought an immediate calm and the next thing I remember was waking up in recovery. Jake had seen them rush Layla to the NICU. The first time we met Layla, she had tubes everywhere and seemed so helpless, but she had this glow in her eyes that didn’t fit her current circumstance. She was our miracle.
Days later, doctors would tell us that both Layla and I were near death…they were amazed at how quickly she was ready to leave the NICU.
As we left the hospital, I cried. The boo hoo, ugly cry that you can’t control. I had believed I would never be making that drive back home. I knew it was God. With a bit of faith, I had asked God to protect us and He did just that.
February 22, 2015. Jake’s birthday. Layla’s dedication. The first time Jake’s biological parents met his adoptive parents. All made possible because God answers prayers….just not always in the matter we think he should. Miracles happen all of the time…we just get to look into the eyes of one every day.”
“Meet your Fears with Faith.” Max Lucado